Tag Archives: funny

Agape newsletter, December 4, 2009. Special “Let it Snow” edition!

Hello everybody and welcome in to a very cold Agape newsletter. Well, it’s cold outside, but hopefully it’s warm in here for all of you. I doubt we’ll see much snow tonight (maybe?) but I believe we will see three major (for us) snow events this Winter. Of course, I also thought Alabama would beat Auburn pretty badly last week, so I am not the greatest prognosticator that has ever lived.

So - what’s going on at Agape this week, I hear you asking. I’m glad you asked, because this is an exciting month for us! Here’s what’s happening:

This Sunday, December 6: We will have a great time in worship, hear a detailed update and a call to arms on the Live Nativity, and also hear about how we are going to be helping send gifts and love to our soldiers in Iraq for this Christmas. In addition, we will begin to look at what led to the coming of Jesus into the world. Why did He come?

Next Saturday, December 12, we will be reaching out to our community with our Food pantry ministry. This will be a very important food pantry, as this will be our greatest chance to invite many people in the community to our Christmas Feast and celebration on December 20th. Be sure and come help, if possible, and help us get the word out into the community about the Christmas Feast and celebration of the birth of Jesus!

Speaking of the Live Nativity - let me fill you in a little about our plans. The live Nativity will take place two nights in December - Thursday, December 17 and Friday December 18 (with a practice and set up on Wednesday December 16). Each night, we will be presenting the good news of the coming of Jesus to many who turn in to see the Nativity up close, as well as the thousands who are likely to drive by and catch a glimpse of what we are doing. Our focus is to proclaim the coming of Jesus, and to invite people to come celebrate with us on Sunday, December 20th.  We  have some needs that many of you can help with. First and foremost, we need people. We estimate that slightly over thirty people will be needed each night, and fifty or more would be ideal. Everybody will have a part to play, from singing in the choir, to serving hot cocoa and cider, to helping with greeting and parking, and even driving for our planned hayride. We also need some materials - can you help us with any of these things:

1. Live Animals - we don’t want to spend a whole lot of money, but if somebody out there in Agape land has access to some farm animals (even a few) that would be FANTASTIC - and a terrific “draw”.

2. Trailers - our plan at the moment is to use trailers, and have our live nativity function as a hayride (more on this Sunday), but in order to do this, we will need at least two, and preferably three largish trailers. Can anybody help us with this!?

3. We need some bails of hay (or pine straw, even) who can help with this?

4. Plywood - we need some plywood to build the stage - do you have any that you could let us use?

5. We will need some hot cocoa and apple cider. Do you have a great recipe for hot cocoa? Several gallons of apple cider lying around? We will put them all to good use!

More details will be coming this Sunday, as well as an exciting explanation of our complete vision for the live nativity. We have the potential to reach hundreds, maybe thousands with the message of the coming of Jesus. To do this, WE WILL NEED ALL OF US TO PITCH IN AND HELP!!!! This will be the ultimate group effort by Agape - so be sure and let us know if you will help. especially if you haven’t signed up yet!!!

Finally, Brian Perkins sent this heartwarming story to me earlier, and I now share it with you:


A very old man lay dying in his bed. In death’s doorway, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookie wafting up the stairs.

He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed.  Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands.

With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen.  Were it not for death’s agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven.

There, spread out on newspapers on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies.

Was it heaven?  Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table.  The aged and withered hand, shaking, made its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when he was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife.

“Stay out of those,” she said. “They’re for the funeral.”


I love you all, and look forward to seeing you Sunday!


Chase

Coming soon to Agape:

I am so going to do this in church one day. And if I can’t figure it out, we’ll just have to have Dr. Shine come in for a guest appearance! 

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A Guy Called Annie. (This post is tagged “off topic” for good reason!)

Well, this is from out in left field, but I thought it funny enough to be worth posting here: 

anniedarth

Things you don’t often see on a church site #7: A mating dance.

This Bird of Paradise mating dance is so cool and unbelievable that I simply had to post it here. You won’t regret the time you spent watching this!

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As long as we’re on the subject of birds, here’s another bird video that is even more amazing than the one above. This is the Lyre bird, which can imitate almost any bird song or call, as well as other sounds (like a chainsaw). Utterly amazing! (The best parts are towards the end…keep watching)

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Coming tomorrow: The Agape weekly newsletter…stay tuned!

-Chase

Agape Newsletter Volume 3 #1 Happy New Year!

Hello all, and welcome to the promised second mini-newsletter of the week.

Happy New Year 2009

I hope you had a wonderful New Years celebration with your family and enjoyed some black eyed peas, and turnips and such. I’m writing to let you know what’s going on this Sunday, as well as give a preview of what’s to come at Agape this month, so let’s get started.

This Sunday, we are going to continue to talk about God’s call for us in 2009, and specifically, we will are going to talk about how we, as the people of God, are going to triumph in 2009 by being smelly. (Yes, you read that right!) What in the world does that mean? I hope you join us Sunday morning to find out!

Next Wednesday, we will renew our study and discussion of Matthew, specifically chapter 12. What does it mean that the nations will put their trust in the name of Jesus? This is a clue for us as we consider how to reach northeastern Jefferson county with the gospel! The next Wednesday after that (January 14) will be our first Food Pantry of 2009, and Cindy and the Missions Team would love to have your help. Arrive at 5:45 (or sooner) to help them feed the hungry and minister to the lost! The next Wednesday after that (January 21) will be our monthly Wednesday night food and fellowship. For more upcoming events, visit our calendar online: http://agapepinson.com/calendar_of_events.htm

Finally, Angel Food orders are due by January 11…more info at: http://agapepinson.com/angel_food_ministries.htm

This week’s links (part 2):

*****     Here’s some great advice for those who are making New Year’s resolutions, and looking back at 2008: “As we consider our goals and hopes for 2009, how about putting this one at the top: “For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain” (Phil 1:21). It’s impossible on our own, but are we willing to lean on Christ and trust him to work it into us? Are we even willing to have this sort of heart? Jesus followed up his words on true discipleship with a warning about counting the cost, which means that “For me to live is Christ” might include letting go of personal goals, dreams, and hopes along the way. Are we willing–willing enough to pray this week that God will work into us a Philippians 1:21 heart throughout the coming year?” Source: http://purplecellar.blogspot.com/2008/12/2009-disciples.html

*****      Pop quiz: Which world leader, thought by many to be a dullard, reads the Bible from cover to cover each year, as well as dozens and dozens of deep history, philosophy and nonfiction works? Frankly, I was surprised by President Bush’s reading list. He leads the country, and still has time to significantly out-read most all of us: http://sec.online.wsj.com/article/SB123025595706634689.html

*****     Seven great resolutions from David Jeremiah: http://thepoint.breakpoint.org/2008/12/the-best-new-ye.html

*****     Here’s a cool video of the stars taken in Namibia. You can see a lot more stars from Africa since there is less light pollution at night. It is breathtaking! http://www.theskyinmotion.com/

*****     Interesting article on the faith of Kurt Warner, the 37 year old pro bowl quarterback of the Arizona Cardinals. Interesting note from the article: “During a visit to the “Oprah Winfrey Show” to honor Masters champion and fellow Iowan Zach Johnson a couple of years ago, Warner purposely mentioned Johnson’s faith in the second of three sentences, believing the show’s editors wouldn’t be able to cut the sentence and eliminate the religious reference. But when the show ran, the second sentence was gone.”Anytime you mention Jesus or faith, people are turned off,” Warner said. “I think it scares a lot of people.”  How about that?! http://abclocal.go.com/wls/story?section=news/sports&id=6572434

*****     This won’t be funny for everybody, but for some it should be quite amusing: I think My Wife’s a Calvinist (video) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZdoSG0IdNE “she likes Spurgeon more than she likes me”.  ;)

Love you, and see you Sunday!

Chase

Agape Newsletter, 12-4-2008 Vision Casting and Bruce Lee ping-pong.

Brothers and Sisters,

Welcome to another Agape newsletter - a very important one, I believe.

Ultra-quick summary of this week at Agape:

1. Vision Sunday, Part 1:
2. Budget vote moved from December 7 to December 14 plus: review the proposed budget online!
3. Crossroads Sunday night begins again this Sunday (plus Crossroads Christmas party next week)
4. Angel Food orders due this Sunday (December 7 - see Cindy Underwood)
5. Angel food Pick up will be on Saturday, December 13 at Agape.
6. Bruce Lee playing ping-pong   :)   See This week’s links, below:

This week at Agape we will begin our most significant message series since I have arrived at the church. If you are an inactive member, or if it has been a long time since you have come - I want to urge and implore you to come to Agape at least this week and next week (December 14th) to hear more about our direction for 2009. If you are an active member, and you have the email address of somebody who hasn’t been in a long time - please allow me to encourage you to forward this newsletter onto them along with a personal invitation from you.

This Sunday, we will begin talking about the future at Agape - our vision, our calling, our purpose. What exactly does that mean? Maybe I can answer that question by listing a few things that you won’t be hearing this Sunday:

1. You won’t be hearing a big push to give towards a building project or anything like that.

2. You won’t be hearing MY vision - the goal is to articulate OUR vision as a church - that unique thing that God is calling us as a family to do.

3. You won’t be hearing a vision that only a few people can participate in. As I’ve said several times, the role of the pastors and leaders in the church is to build up the church and equip people to be who they are called to be. (See Ephesians 4:11).

The fact is that God has a purpose for our congregation. It can’t be fulfilled by any one person or leader - it can’t be fulfilled by just a few families. God has a purpose and calling (and vision) for our entire congregation - i.e., those things that we are unable to do separately, but that we are uniquely equipped to do together. In this day and age of individualism, it is somewhat foreign to us to think in terms of things that we can’t do without each other. Perhaps we can picture it by way of a football analogy: Saturday, Alabama will play Florida for the SEC championship. As I write this, Florida is favored by approximately 10 points. Think about what would happen if they tried to play the game with just one player on Alabama’s side! Florida could score an almost infinite amount of points.  Think about what would happen if Alabama played with only a few players? Florida would still win by hundreds. How about if only one or two Alabama players were missing? It seems like that wouldn’t make that big of a difference, but I guarantee you that being down two players would hurt Alabama a great deal this weekend.

So then is the church - we are like a team, in essence, capable of doing amazing things together, but hobbled when we don’t come together.  Sunday we’re exploring what God is calling our team to do. I am looking forward to it, and I certainly hope that you’ll make plans to join us!

Also note that we will be voting on our 2009 budget next Sunday, December 14th, right after our morning worship and word. We had originally announced December 7 as budget Sunday last week, but we decided to move it to the 14th so that we could get a copy of the budget into everybody’s hands to look over. If you would like to look at our budget, we’ve posted it on our website:http://agapepinson.com/online_resources.htm Please note that you will need Microsoft Excel to view the budget proposal. We should have copies available this Sunday morning for your perusal.


David sends this information about the Crossroads Christmas Party in December: December 14th after Crossroads service we are going to have a Christmas fellowship dinner at Mary and David Ledbetter’s house in Pinson. Everyone is welcome. Mary and David ask that everyone who comes bring some kind of a dish, that way we have plenty of food. We are going to have Crossroads on Dec 7th, and the 14th. The 14th will kind of be our end of the year service so to speak. We will take the 21st and the 28th off and come back on Jan 4th.

This Week’s Schedule:  (This month’s schedule online at: http://agapepinson.com/calendar_of_events.htm)

Saturday, December 6 9:00 am - Church wide workday - our main focus this Saturday will be on decorating the sanctuary, so please come and join us!

Sunday
, December 7, 9:15 am - Please remember that we’ve changed corporate prayer time from 8:30 to 9:15am
Sunday 9:45 - Small groups
Sunday 10:45 - Corporate worship, prayer and word. This Sunday: Vision 2009 - God’s call for US

Sunday night: 5 pm Sunday night at Crossroads, David will be teaching on: ::

Baptized!

Tonight we will be shifting into what it means to proclaim the gospel with our lives and we will begin with a study on the Biblical picture of how all new Christians first proclaim the gospel: Baptism. There may be no other church ordinance that is so debated among Christians and Christian denominations. Even among Baptists, we often declare baptism to simply be symbolic of an inward change. But, is that all there is to it? Is baptism simply a ‘good thing to do’ if you are a Christian? Join us tonight at 7pm as we attempt to uncover in the word: proclaiming the gospel through baptism.


Wednesday night, December 10 - Advent Part 3 - Join us for Wednesday nights in December as we celebrate Advent together and study/discuss things related to the birth of Jesus. We also have Food Pantry this Wednesday.


Saturday, December 13th:
Angel food pick up.

Finally, Christmas this year has been scheduled for December 25 (a Thursday).


This Week’s Links:

*****    This past Sunday, we discussed Advent, and how enriching it can be for a family to celebrate Advent together. Here’s a very easy to use devotional for every night of Advent: http://scriptureunion.gospelcom.net/Advent.pdf

*****     Here is a collection of solid resources on Advent, gathered by Christianity Today: http://www.christianitytoday.com/holidays/christmas/features/advent.htm


*****     Here it is, as promised, Bruce Lee playing ping-pong with Nunchucks (or Nunchaku if you want to be technical): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QHslHpK4-Q Now what other church newsletter gives you treats like this one?!


*****    Twilight, by Stephenie Meyer, is fast on it’s way to becoming the next Harry Potter. A well written, engaging love story between a teen girl, and a vampire that abstains from drinking human blood, the story is a runaway best seller, and a very popular movie as well. Some abstinence advocates have encouraged reading of the book because the main characters do not ultimately engage in sex until they are married. On the surface, this seems like a good thing, of course, but the level of sensuality in the Twilight series is something that parents and Christians need to be aware of. Tim Challies offers an objective review here: http://www.challies.com/archives/book-reviews/book-review—twilight.php

*****     A bit on John Piper’s new book, Finally Alive: http://adrianwarnock.com/2008/12/john-pipers-most-important-book-finally.html Sounds quite challenging!

*****     Liberty University’s kicker this year (on their division 1 football team) does not have arms http://www.crosswalk.com/spirituallife/men/11596238/

Please be praying for each other, and I look forward to seeing you Sunday! ! 

Chase

Agape Newsletter - 10-17-2008 - Economic Crisis part 1

Hello all, all and welcome to the third week in October edition of the Agape newsletter. Among our highlights this week: A missions yard sale Saturday at 8:00am, A message on the Economy this Sunday morning at 10:45am, and a Crossroads message Sunday night on how the sacrifice of Jesus saved us from our sins. Read below for more details:

This Week’s Schedule:
SATURDAY OCTOBER 18 at 8:00 AM: Don’t forget that the missions team is having a yard sale at Agape tomorrow (Saturday) morning, beginning at 8:00am. Come one, come all - find some great bargains AND help our missions outreach fulfill the calling of Jesus (Matthew 25:31-46) and love our community.
Sunday, October 19 - 8:30 - Corporate prayer. Prayer is so critical in the life of the church, so please join us in the back of the sanctuary to lift up our hearts to God.
Sunday 9:45 - Small groups
Sunday 10:45 - Morning worship and word. This week I will be bringing a message that is centered on all of the issues raised by our volatile economy. What is going on? Why is the stock market struggling so much? What does it mean to you and me? And, most importantly, where is God in all of this, and what should our response be as the people of God?! Come join us and have a listen to this very unusual message, as well as seek God and bless His name in worship and prayer. If you know somebody who has been effected by the economic crisis currently, or has been interested in it, then please forward them this email and invite them to come join us this Sunday!
Sunday night: 5 pm - Crossroads. Most of us know that Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross makes it possible for us to enter heaven, right? But HOW does that work? Why did it work? Here’s David’s summary of what he will be teaching on this Sunday night at Crossroads: The Cup Christ came to secure our eternal redemption from the rebellion of Genesis chapter 3. But how did He do it? Was it the nails? The crown of thorns? A beaten and bloodied trip up an ancient hillside? How did the sacrifice of Christ secure forgiveness of all sins, for all times for those who would believe? Would we be surprised to hear that it was not what was seen on that day that saves us, but what was unseen? Please Join us October 19th at 5pm.

Wednesday night, October 22nd
- Back to Matthew this week, as we’ll be tackling the 10th chapter of Matthew - a most challenging, yet refreshing passage of scripture. We will also have food pantry that night, beginning at 6:00.

Friday night - Family Movie Night with fun and games and much more!

Well, normally, I would try and type something interesting, funny, spiritual, inspiring, or antagonizing to Auburn fans in this space, but alas, I’m babysitting Kassidy while Janet is taking Chloe and John Caedmon to the doctor (they have bronchitis - pray for them please!), so I’m not able to concentrate enough to type much of anything worth reading, so I guess I’ll just close out with some hopefully high quality linkst.

This Week’s Links:

*****     Thinking about World Hunger Month….Did you eat breakfast today? (I did: 1 bowl of Frosted Mini-Wheats, one bowl of Rice Chex): http://blog.christianitytoday.com/ctliveblog/archives/2008/10/how_hungry_are.html

*****     Deep Truths of the Bible for Children (good children’s books with a deep Christian message): http://www.ligonier.org/blog/2008/10/deep-truths-of-the-bible-for-c.html

*****     This will be a bit controversial, I imagine. I am posting it less for it’s political content, and more for it’s incisive commentary on the importance of being pro-life: http://www.albertmohler.com/blog_read.php?id=2630

*****     Fireproof 1, Religulous 0 http://blog.christianitytoday.com/ctliveblog/archives/2008/10/religulous.html

*****     Real Preachers of Genius; Mr. Mega Church Seeker Sensitivity Guy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yb9DF16Fx8k&feature=related (Please note - this video lampoons seeker sensitive churches and touches on the Emergent movement. I’m including it here only because of it’s amusement value, not because I necessarily agree with some of the issues the video raises. For me, it’s a mixed bag)

I look forward to worshipping with you this Sunday!

Chase