Agape Newsletter - Special He Shouldn’t Send out Newsletters after Midnight Edition.
The following may (or may not) be a true story. If you don’t have much time to read, you can skip to the last few paragraphs (below the picture) for all the information that you need!
Greetings dear friends. It is with great relief that I type you this letter. Early this morning at roughly 7am, I sat down to type the Agape newsletter, as is my habit on Fridays. As I typed out the first few sentences, something equal parts remarkable and inconvenient happened. Perhaps you have heard of spontaneous combustion? Well, I was spontaneously teleported. To Siberia, Russia. Though I was slow in getting over the shock of sudden long distance travel, I knew I was in Siberia by the street sign that I had been transported near. Welcome to Siberia it read. In Russian. And yes, I speak Russian. While I was pondering how fortuitous it was that I was raised by parents who valued a good training in multiple languages, I was confronted by none other than former WWF wrestlers Nikolai Volkoff and the Iron Sheik! At least, that is who they wanted me to think they were. Looking closer, I saw through their disguise, quickly realizing that it wasn’t Volkoff and the Sheik at all, but actually Vladimir Putin and Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad! “Why have you brought me here?!” I demanded to know, incensed at the interruption of my most important duty of the day. Putin (dressed as Volkoff) gave me an evil grin, and said, “the newsletter you are working on must never reach the people of Agape. It is too important.” I realized immediately that priority one was to get home as fast as possible, and write this newsletter, so I turned on my heels, and began walking home, even as President Ahmadinejad threatened to “wipe Pinson off of the map”, among other things.
I can take many insults. Insult my football team, insult my fashion sense, insult my toupee - I don’t care! But, insulting the good people of Pinson like that? No! That is something I could never take. I spun around and confronted them both. “By Grabthar’s hammer”, I said, “you will take that back right this instant!” Infuriatingly, Ahmadinejad reached over and touched the brim of Putin’s Ushanka (that Russian fur hat that all good Russians wear) and sneered, “Touch black, no take backs”. “That hat is brown”, I spat in disgust, as I girded my loins rolled up my sleeves for battle. Fortunately at this point, Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger appeared, and we made quick work of “Volkoff and the Iron Sheik”, and left them laying in the frozen tundra, regretful that they had tangled with America yet again. Using the governator’s influence and wealth, we were able to escape Siberia and I have only just now arrived home. I do apologize for the delay in sending this out, but, as you can see, it was not my fault. It is not as if I just totally forgot to send the newsletter out, and then made up some fantastical and extremely silly story as an excuse. I wouldn’t do that. (or would I?)
Here’s what’s going on at Agape this week:
Sunday Morning: We continue with our study of Philippians 1, actually getting into the text of Philippians this week. We will look at the faithfulness of God to complete His work, the joy that comes from prayer, and the overflowing love that God calls us to have for each other. This book is really blessing me and encouraging me, and challenging me as I read it, and I encourage you to sit down and read it, chapter by chapter, with your family!
Sunday Night: We will have our first Sunday of the month Genesis meeting at our house at 6:00pm. Come and join us for fellowship, food, prayer and Bible study/discussion!
Keep an eye out for our September Awakening time of Prayer and Worship, which will be held on one Sunday night this month. (probably the fourth, but I will try and let you know next week).
Are you praying for each other? Last Sunday, we discussed the likelihood of all of us at Agape going through a storm this week, and I imagine that most of you have faced that storm by now. A gentle question - were you able to praise God in the midst of the storm (trial) that you faced this week? Like Paul and Silas in Acts 16, God calls us to overcome trials through worship, prayer and abiding in Him. He will give us faith to do this, so let us receive His gift, be empowered by His Spirit, and overcome all trials and opposition!
Also - David has asked me to announce this: Please let everyone know that we have some extra EPIC shirts for sale (size L, M and S) and they are 15.00. They can let me know if anyone wants one.
That’s all for now
please pray for me! :)
Chase
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